is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
