Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
