butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
