More tranny stories later!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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