I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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