All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize