six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
