did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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