You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
