porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize