Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i jhust puked up my retainher.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
thus making me awesome and them whores
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
