Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
