Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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