So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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