My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
