But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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