Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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