Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
