You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
