Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
