apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
