How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
