Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
