I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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