I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
