do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
