We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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