I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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