we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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