Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
