i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize