shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
