You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
