i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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