so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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