I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize