Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
