Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
