I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
