Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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