your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
