Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
