but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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