i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't deserve a penis
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
