She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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