All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
