I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
