So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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