Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
