Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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