I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
