She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Bring me that man meat
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
