Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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