I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
