I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
