So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize