Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
