So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
