So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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