Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
