Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize