There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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