id be glad to
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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