so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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