She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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