I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I faked an abortion last night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Let's get the cat blown out
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
