Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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