I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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