Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
