before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
