oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Small penises have feelings too.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
