My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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