You're my little dorito
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
