I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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