I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
