Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Help. Why am I so naked?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
