i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
