You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
